10 Ways A Baby With Down Syndrome Will Improve Your Life
94So, you’ve got the news that your child has Down Syndrome. Maybe you’re not even sure what Down Syndrome is. Maybe you think ‘this is the worst day of my life.’
If so, logic dictates that, after 24 hours, the worse day of your life will be over! Done with. That’s a good thing, right? What you’re left with is an adorable little baby who will change your life for the better!
Many people have a preconceived notion that life will be perfect. After all, you are perfect! You’ve lived a good life, so far, effused with high moral values, hard work, education, ambition, good looks and good health. Life should unfold, for you, in a neat, predictable manner. It’s so unfair! Life should be a constant momentum of improvement.
I am here to tell you that Down Syndrome can make your life better. So, what will you gain by having a child with Down Syndrome? How can this imperfect baby improve you?
This song seemed to be about my daughter
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The news that your baby has Down Syndrome is frightening, but a chld with Down Syndrome will enrich your life. Lessons I learned from my child with Down Syndrom
I am here to tell you that Down Syndrome can make your life better. So, what will you gain by having a child with Down Syndrome? How can this imperfect baby improve you?
1) You will learn patience. You may have to wait a bit longer for your child to talk, take those first steps. Your friends’ have made a contest of those accomplishments and swell with pride when their kid is the first one to yell ‘NO,’ because we all know that verbal prodigy is a sure indication of the content of the parents’ character. It is not a contest. Isn’t a bit absurd to pit babies against one another? Would you resent your normal child if he waited a few extra weeks to lift his head? If your ‘normal’ child is a bit smaller than your friends’ children – does that make you a loser?
2) You will learn the true meaning of love. Who is deserving of your love? Is there a system of protocols that must be followed in order to be worthy of your affection? Is someone less deserving of your love due to the size of the bridge over their nose or that fact that they are incapable of performing higher math? You will learn that love has no bounds, no rules or expectations, that love exists for all of us, that no matter what you look like or who you are or how many chromosomes you have – everyone deserves love.
3) You will become that open-minded person you’ve always secretly envied.
4) You will become fearless and worry-free. The one thing that will ruin your life, if you have a child with Down Syndrome, is to waste time and mental resources worrying about something that may or may not even come up. Worry makes you miserable, your family miserable; it makes you unhealthy and unattractive (that scowl is just not you). What is the sense of worrying about something when you’re not even sure what it is you are worrying about? 5) You will be a lot of really nice people.
6) You’ll save money on clothes. Children with Down Syndrome grow slower than average so you’ll get your money’s worth out of all of those cute outfits.
7) You will become more accepting of other people’s idiosyncrasies and less concerned with artifice and BS.
8) You will grow spiritually. The first step on the road to enlightenment is compassion. The Dali Lama says that you can’t walk that path without cheer.
9) You will psychologically benefit from giving of yourself and earn the love and admiration of your child with Down Syndrome and a host of others.
10) You may just learn the true meaning of life. I am not going to spill any beans, but the other nine points will lead you here.
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People with Down Syndrome, once institutionalized and marginalized, gained acceptance and became fully recognised members of society in the 1970's. But the population of people with Down syndrome is...
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Children with Down Syndrome may need adaptive services and educational opportunities. But raising a child with Down Syndrome is like raising any other child, except that children with Down Syndrome grow at a slower pace and need directed and adapted
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thanks, teresa, there are so many more resources for info and cokmmunication these days
This Hub is so full of light and peace, and is real pleasure for soul to read it.
Thank you Dolores. Lots of Love to the both of you.
thank you so much tatjana, all is actually very true
Great post! I have a 22-month old son who has Down syndrome. He has definitely enriched our lives.
I really admire you for your self-control and discipline - it must have been so difficult to limit yourself to just ten ways a baby with Down syndrome improves your life!
Those smiles! Those eyes! That sweet voice; the feeling of those tiny fingers curling around one of yours; their amazing ability to push their sibling's buttons before they are a year old and those sly smiles when the parents finally catch on; that determination: to crawl, to walk, to win the race; to read, to work the vending machine, to program the DVR; to win the video game; to outsmart the computer program; to make their own decisions and defend them with flawless logic and sly humor...
Who knew that being 'more like mainstream children than they are different' is as close to a threat as it is to a promise!?! Every baby with Down syndrome is unique and wonderful ~ I wish we had all known the joy and pride our children would bring us when we first heard their diagnosis.
Hi,
I am a mother of a child with Down Syndrome. He is three years old. Before he was born, whenever I saw children with disabilities, I used to wonder how difficult it must be for the parents to love their atypical children! Now that I have one which would be thought of as disabled, I know it really and truly does not make a difference. Love for the child comes to us as naturally as it would to anyone with a typical child! That in itself is a wonderful, perspective improving experience.
I guess God has blessed you, Ria, thanks for commenting.
Such a lovely commnent, Pamela. I think that when doctors deliver a DS diagnosis, they should hook the parents up with a family who has a child with DS in order to calm their fears, answer their questions, and just generally introduce them to a world that they do not understand.
Janhavi, thank you so much for the lovely comment. It seems that, in general, love comes into our lives so much easier that one would think possible.
Great article! and so positive! I am a pediatric occupational therapist who has worked with numerous children with Down Syndrome and their families. Where I live, there is a big association of parents of kids with Down Syndrome who help support each other and network at least once per month. So, important to learn all you can from the other parents!
You betcha, OTmommy - it makes all the difference in the world. You have a great job there, being paid to help people and work with little kiddies!
I love people with Down's. I used to take a group of them (adults) to Starbucks every so often. The most loving and happy people on earth! Great hub.
Thank you, Stan. While that is kind of a gross generalization, I appreciate the sentiment. Through my daughter, I've met a couple of stinkers with DS, haha.
Thanks so much for sharing this hub! I have a 11 month old little boy with Down Syndrome and he truly is the light in my smile. So happy to see such a positive article on the disorder, I know my son has changed my life in a million amazing ways : )
ng0208 - Thank you so much for leaving a comment. I am sure that your son will keep on being a light in your life. My own daughter still is, 37 years later.
well said.... i like your hub
Than you, Green!
I must say, I was skeptical when I saw the name of this article because I find that, especially among parents of children with Down syndrome, there is a lot out there that I don't agree with, can't relate to, and/or can't subscribe to. But this article and all ten points really sum up well what it's like for me, and what it's been like for the last three years since my son with DS was born. It has taken me a lot longer than most to be "okay" with his diagnosis, and I'm not going to lie, I still struggle with it at times. But I do agree that, in these ten ways, and more, my life has been improved. :)
awesome! every word is the stone cold truth! wish I would've had this article the day my girl was born...would've wasted a lot less time feeling bad.
My 5 year old little Kara has Down Syndrome. I remember the counselor telling us that we had "options" ie terminate the pregnancy. They never offered us information...just an abortion. I'm starting Graduate school at Arizona State University this year.My focus is going to be trying to decrease the number of DS fetuses that are being aborted. If anyone has information that they think I could use, please email me @ mt.sullivan@cox.net Thanks!
i have a 10 yr old son with DS. i didnt know until he was born, but couldnt imagine my life without him. we have some hard times, but the good definately out weighs the bad! Wonderful article!
I have been sitting with a man in the hospital for the last three days who will be 100 on June 1, 2011 if he hangs on until then. He told me several times over the last three days, that his Down Syndrome child, Jimmie, was the love of his life. Jimmie is now 60 something. God is amazing. Ann Laperouse
I have a 3 year old grandson with DS.He is the sunshine in my life.We didn't know until he was born.I can't imagine my life or my families lives without him. His smile melts my heart.His progression is awesome.He is such a smart child.I love him so much. This article was great!
Angela - thank you for your input, so honest and well thought out. Mixed emotions are common for all of us, so we might as well let the good ones rule! God bless you and your son. Life is beautiful!
Vicki - I guess we all feel bad when there is a 'problem' with a child, as if we somehow are less than perfect. It's a good life lesson. What the heck is perfect anyway! Thank you dear. Blessings on you and your family.
Mary - my daughter and I just went to a wedding. The beautiful little flower girl has DS, and my daughter went up to her and they had a little conversation. My daughter looked up, afterwords, with a hint of tears in her eyes. She always introduces herself to someone else with DS, shakes hands in a sort of welcome to the club kind of thing. Her kindness is inspiring to me and others. Thank you!
valerie - thank you so much. You folks from outside of hubpages, leaving such kind comments on my article have really moved me.
Ann - my experience with my own daughter changed my life in many ways. Also to the lives of the people around us. She is an inspiration to us all. Sometimes, we don't right away recognize where our blessings are. Thank you.
Vickie - I don't know how many times I've been pondering something. Then my daughter pops up with some simple comment, her view on the topic, that sums it all up, shuts everyone up, leaving us to wonder what all the fuss is about. Thank you and God Bless.
What a fantastic, awesome hub filled with so much wisdom, truth, hope and beauty. Even as a baby, it looked like your daughter's smile was bright enough to light up her corner of the world.
I wish every mother of a Down's Syndrome baby could read this hub. It's truly inspiring and uplifting. Voted up across the board except for funny.
I have a 4 month old with D.S the other day she had a doc appt an the doctors was telling me a lot of good and bad things, but the bad out weight the good. Before her doctor app my spirits were, as I walked out I felt helpless. Read this post bought me back to myself loving my daughter an thanking God he bless me with such a wonderful person.
Happyboomernurse - thank you. Well, it's a good thing that I know who you are because the stupid new comment thingy is partially blocking your name. Recently, my daughter, now 38, broke her leg real bad and ended up having surgery and recovering in a nursing/rehab center. What I thought would be a terrible ordeal turned out to be fun. She loved it, made friends, etc. Her room mate said that my daughter left the room at 8:30 AM and did not return til 4 in the afternoon. She never ceases to amaze and inspire. Thank you!
Ronni - well if the doctor recommends some treatment or says that your child has a condition that must be addressed, you need to attend to those practical aspects. But some doctors (who are just people like everyone else) have certain prejudices that may get in the way. Maybe you ought to find another doctor. God bless you. Oh wait a minute, He already has.
i have a downs son he is 24 next week he is my hole life.He loves his disco's and night life he has a great life ,I am 57 now having matthew keeps me young with all the dancers pub nights and bowling he doese ect.If i did not have him in my life it would be slippers and tv soaps every night.
Susan - it sounds like you two have a lot of fun. I hope that Matthew has found some meaningful employment and a group of his own friends. Sure sounds like he is getting some great exercise! Thanks!
what a lovely hub...i do not have children, but i dont need them to hear the truth in your words. all children are worthy of our deepest love, but special needs children are incredible blessings for us. thank you so much for sharing this. voted up and over.
Conor - it's because of people like you that I have changed my comment settings. Comments do not appear without my approval. I did this after someone left a comment using some pretty foul language on one of my articles and I did not want to offend readers.
Of course you have a right to your opinion, but the expression of an opinion should be made in a civilized manner. Maybe you were trying to be funny, or were trying to elicit an angry or rude reply. Not going to happen.
Dolores, my eyes got all blurry while I was reading this because it is just absolutely beautiful. I was lucky enough to meet a 9 month old with DS and he was THE happiest little guy I've ever met. He would just stare at my red hair and giggle :) I wish for a person like you in the lives of ALL children with ALL disabilities.
A great article to read. I think no one has right to kill an infant in the womb and one who does this is not a normal human being. I say this because life and death is in the hands of God and if God so desires than a child with DS can lead a better life than a child without a DS. My school childhood friend has died at the age of 38, another friend of mine died at the age of 35, one other school friend of mine died at the age of less than 18 and guess what they did not have DS. So when it comes to death and healthy and unhealthy life than no one can say with certainty that a child with DS will lead a tough life and a child without it won't. I think one important point raised in this article is about spirituality. To be a better spiritual person one needs to have a blind trust in God and when you become a good spiritual person definitley you get closer to your Al Mighty.
Ahsanjillani - thank you for commenting. You are right. Who knows what will happen in life? Bad things, accidents, and poor health can come to us all. Who are we to decide who is more deserving of life?
Who are we, indeed! Your perspective is beautiful, seasoned with love and experience. The comments are amazing and worth following!
RT - thank you very much.
Doleres - this is beautiful and well said. I can completely relate. My son has autism and his best friend has Down Syndrome. The last thing she does is bring anybody down! They are in 7th grade at the middle school where I teach. They play, giggle and argue - just like an old couple. lol
Thank you for sharing your beautiful perspective. We are truly blessed in so many ways.
By the way, Dolores is my middle name. :)
Voted up and beautiful. We can all learn something from our brothers and sisters with Down's Syndrome.
Hello Delores a subject very dear to my heart. I have attached my link and would like to attach yours to mine. The children and adults I have worked with having Downs Syndrome has blessed my life more than words can say.
Thank you for writing this wonderful hub.
Sunnie
Excellent Hub. There is nothing more heartwarming than the endearing child like qualities of adults with Down Syndrome. So happy you have pointed out many of the benefits.
So beautiful!!! Thank you for this wonderful story of love. I couldn't agree more with your analysis--and I speak from a measure of experience. Voted up and all across the board but funny. I'll be sharing this, too! God bless you and your daughter.
Dolores Monet, you are a special Lady. Brilliant article on down syndrome, I have a good friend with DS, he is the most lovable human being I have ever had the privilige to meet.
So full of love for everything, it is very true what say.
Love has no boundaries, voted up and SS THANKS FOR SHARING.
miss olive - thank you so much. I feel like most of the kids I know with Downs are slow to judge other people, are very tolerant and understanding. The only thing my daughter could not put up with was and still is people being mean.
kschimmel - got that right. Thank you!
Hi Sunnie - I checked out your hub by following the link as I never publish a link til I do so. How wonderful that the folks you help have you in their lives. You seem like a perfect person to help out people who are developmentally disabled. Thank you.
Koralee - thank you!
SJ - thank you!
MP50 - love has no boundaries - you betcha! Thank you!
I rate a lot of hubs interesting and useful and all that.
But this is one of the few hubs that I find awesome enough to rate "beautiful"!
Beautiful work; beautiful heart you have, Dolores.
What a neat hub!!! A child that is born with Down Syndrome can become a person that can live a normal, healthy, productive life. Your hub has shown me that patience, care, lots and lots of love far outweigh any mental and physical challenges this child may face. I guess it's all in how the parent chooses to help the child to reach their full potential in life. You also give a lot of good resources in which parents can use in terms of helping their special needs child. Voted up!!!!!!!!
I really enjoyed reading this hub. It put a smile on my face.
What beautiful words about your life! I can imagine that any child you bring into this world is perfect in your eyes because they are your heart. I just have nieces so far, but if anything were to ever come up in their development, there is nothing that could make me love them less, only more. It is wonderful to read your story and the warm responses of others.
Brenda - thank you very much. Funny how what at first may seem like adversity can wind up producing joy, and ultimately, grace.
Nina - a child with Downs syndrome is first, a child. They are all different with differing needs. We bring a child into the world and must adapt to that particular child. Thank you!
Made - thank you!
mpoche - there is nothing so wonderful in the world as your own child, nothing so beautiful, or as entertaining. No matter what. Thank you!
I just wish every single person who is so positive to have a baby with down syndrome.
I am pregnent with one and I cant even stand the idea of bringing to this word somebody who is not pretty and smart. We rise children to be succesful not to be a babysitter for the rest of our life. Its horror not blessing
bad mother - pregnant with one what? Are all our children successful? What is your measure of success? "Normal" children may become ill, hurt themselves, have accidents, social problems, a big nose, or a bad attitude. "Normal" children may have trouble in school, with the law, become bullies, or choose a life style you disapprove of. And though your "normal" child may be beautiful to you, someone else may think he is a brat, or stupid looking.
You sound as if you are depressed. You should seek help. Would you like to be born to a mother that hated you before she even met you? Lighten up, lady. You can't babysit your own child. Babysitters get paid. Ha,ha.
Obviously, I know a lot of people who have children or adult children with DS or other developmental delays. They are the most positive, lovely bunch of people. You want to know the biggest complaint that I hear from mothers with girls who have DS? That they have a lot of trouble finding the right sized pants.
I wish you and your child the best. I hope that you welcome your child into the world with love and good cheer. I hope that your child is healthy and you get yourself out of this negative hole. You have a right to be happy. And so does your innocent little baby.
theres always a part of you that wishes that they are normal and werent such a burden
If my baby is diagnosed with DS I would have it killed. Trust me It will be easier for him.
frank - I've had several comment like this one but chose to delete them. But I decided to ad yours, for a little while anyway, just to let others see how some people think. Personally, I think people like you are a burden to humanity.
Dolores, amen to that. How can someone call their own child "it"? You love your own children no matter what disorders they have.
Made - I've had some pretty sick comments on here but chose to delete them. Leaving this one just to let folks know how much hatred there still is for those people in this world who are different. Thank you.
Hey Dolores, here is a beautiful essay of points on the road to enlightenment! I like the way you approached this topic, head first the way it should be. I've been exposed to children with Autism and grew up with a family that were friends, at first through my Dad and the Father of the other crew via the copper mine.They had a daughter with DS, but if they called it that in that era, I never heard it.She had 2 brothers that attended school with us and when the town was claimed and all of us were ejected due to mineral rights, we ended up 4 houses down from them, she was the middle of three, 2 brothers. So the friendship grew into a family thing and the cheap form of entertainment seems to be camping be it a weekend or a week. The girls name, Chrissy and I remember pops warning, that kids often say mean things and it would be wise to be kind. I don't ever remember any violation or reason to violate that subtle warning. She was a year older than me and 3 times as strong and she was possessive of those she loved, I was it, outside of her brothers she said "My Bobby" and "My Larry" of her brothers, she called me Lynn, as she had problems with my first name early on and it was "My Lynn" she liked to hug and I always got a big one when visiting, when I arrived and I believe she could hear a mouse fart a mile away because when I said I had to go home if she could "bear hug" me, she meant for me to stay and that strength was enough that her mom had to peel me loose, I was no match for her. We went to whispers and she'd come down the hall and nab me, then we went to a simple wave and I'd slip out the door. That made her cry her mom told me and after a bit she learned she couldn't keep me. It was funny then [not the part that upset her] but the whole thing that she picked me and even though she hugged dad and my little brother she never claimed them as hers. I remember camping trips where the 8 of us would go to the White Mountains or Woods Canyon Lake here in Arizona, she either followed me or her brothers depending on who was up to something she liked. If she was on my trail and I was headed toward water, I had to put on a life preserver to get her to put one on then I'd make sure the straps were hooked. Same rule for anybody that was taking her toward the water. I don't remember minding any of that extra stuff that by being friends with her brother and then the family get togethers, I was exposed to except if I was fishing it was her requirement that the fish had to be treated nice and she would pet a fish on the head and then I'd slide it back into the water, no fair tossing it, you had to be gentle.
I took some serious mean spirited stuff from school mates about my girl friend and was expelled for popping a few in the nose over what they would sometimes call her, and her brother did too, it was sorta who punched them first.
I see many non registered comments that makes me think folks are searching information and God Bless you for providing an up beat article on the subject,
May the Blessings Be,
dustin
50 Caliber - Hi, Dustin - thank you for sharing that story. Back in those days, most parents would have been told to have their daughter institutionalized. We often like to look back on the good old days with some unrealistic sentimentality, how wonderful everything was and how kind everyone was, when, really, there was never such a perfect time. Your neighbors had to stand tough against doctors in order to keep their daughter at home. So glad to hear that she had such staunch defenders.
The education of children with develepmental disabilities was not madated by law until the mid 70's, so for many kids back then, school was not an option. My daughter and most of her friends can read. They're not reading War and Peace, but they do have some ability and skill.
When I signed my daughter up for school, we had to register at our local school, then we'd be sent off to the special ed school. The principal was all "we don't serve those children here," but in a very off-putting, rude manner. As I left, I said to him, "I'm glad that my daughter won't attend this school"
Teresa McGurk 3 years ago
One of the happiest and most loving people I have ever known was Rhona. She had Downs Syndrome and filled everyone around her with joy. I smile every time I think about her. Unfortunately, she was born at a time when many parents did not understand Downs, and Rhona's mother felt that she had done something wrong to deserve a "less than perfect" child. That was sad, because Rhona herself knew how to spread joy -- a pity her mother could not see that at the time.