Flag This Hub

Chupacabra - Deliciously Decadent Chupacabra Recipes

By


Chupacabra - Actual Drawing

Chupacabra sketch by Dolores Monet
Chupacabra sketch by Dolores Monet

If you really want to impress your guests with a deliciously decadent meal - serve up one of these wonderful chupacabra recipes. Okay, so chupacabra may be a sort of endangered species but it's on no official list that i can find so we're in the clear as far as the law goes.

Chupacabra's rareness makes it all the more unique as a main course at that special holiday meal or to impress the kinds of people who love to wow you with those fabulous meals made of ingredients that you've never heard of.

I am sharing these deceptively simple recipes with you in order to assay interest in a compilation cookbook that I am putting together called the Cryptids Cookbook in which I hope to feature international recipes like: Bunyip pudding, Jackalope tetrazzini, General Tso's Kraken, and Mongolian Bar-B-Qued Death Worm.

Watch this video and see for yourself how easy it is to hunt down your own chupacabra

El Chupacabra - It's What's for Dinner

Once you get the hang of cooking and preparing chupacabra, you'll be able to adapt some of your favorite recipes to create your own fabulous concoctions like chupacobra-kabob, chupacabra Stroganoff, and other trendy food sensations like chupacabra ala-king and cupacabra fricassee.

The flavor of chupacabra resembles a cross between dog and snake and lends itself to a wide variety of cooking styles and seasonings.

You can find cupacabra meat at boutique groceries. If you have a taste for adventure (and freshness) you can hunt a chupacabra down yourself. To locate live chupacabra, drive along a vast, empty highway of the American southwest, or in rural Mexico, or Peurto Rico.

If you spot a chupacabra running down the road, attempt to pull alongside of it and have a hunter/companion shoot it from the passenger side window. Please do not attempt to shoot while driving as this is not safe. If you are along, speed up and dispatch the chupacabra with the front bumper of your vehicle - a great method of tenderizing the meat. It's amazing how the chupacabra remains on the road while being pursued instead of veering off into the bush. You can view this remarkable behavior in the video and plan accordingly.

Most Honorable Chupacabra or Oriental Chupacabra (stockxchnge.com)
Most Honorable Chupacabra or Oriental Chupacabra (stockxchnge.com)
Lodge Logic L10SK3 12-Inch Pre-Seasoned Skillet
Amazon Price: $20.95
List Price: $27.50
Lodge Logic L5SK3 Pre-Seasoned Cast-Iron 8-Inch Skillet
Amazon Price: $9.43
List Price: $12.99
Joyce Chen Classic Series 4-Piece Carbon-Steel Wok Set
Amazon Price: $22.39
List Price: $44.95

Most Honorable Chupacabra


Dice 1 pound chupacabra meat and marinate in soy sauce with garlic and ginger. Allow to marinate for 2 hours.

Dust diced chupacabra with cornstarch. Add pepper, garlic, and ginger

Stir fry until cooked through

Remove from pan and deglaze pan, saving liquid

Stir fry chopped vegetables of your choice

Make sauce:

to 1 Tablespoon of cornstarch, add

1 Tablespoon of powdered ginger

1 Tablespoon of finely chopped garlic

1/4 Cup of sugar

1/4 Cup of soy sauce

1 Tablespoon vinegar

2 Tablespoons sesame oil

1/4 Cup sherry

and the saved liquid

Cook over medium heat until thickened. Toss in the chupacabra and vegetables and serve over rice.


Chupacabra Pie

Chupacabra Pie (stockxchng.com)
Chupacabra Pie (stockxchng.com)

Chupacabra Pie

For the crust you can purchase phylo dough in the frozen food section of your local supermarket. Use 10 sheets of phylo dough, brushing with melted chupacabra fat between every leaf.

Or you can make a standard pastry dough.

Chupacabra meat - chop one pound of chupacabra meat and dust with flour to which salt and pepper has been added. Brown in pan. Remove. Add 1/2 cup red wine to hot pan to deglaze. Pour liquid in a bowl.

Chop and saute vegetables in chupacabra fat. (Carrots, onions, celery, tomatoes, green peppers, peas, anything you have on hand). Deglaze pan with water or more wine.

Dump veggies along with chupacabra meat into a Dutch oven. Season with garlic, sage, salt, pepper, and cilantro.

Make a rue - melt 3 Tablespoons of cupacabra fat in pan. Add 3 Tablespoons of flour. Cook and stir on medium heat until slightly browned not burned. Add the liquid used to deglaze the pans. Pour over the chupacabra stew and mix.

Cook at a low temperature for at least an hour, or for longer in a crock pot. You want those lovely flavors to blend.

Lay prepared dough over the top of the pot and cook for 15 minues at 400 degree Farenheit.

Chupacabra Sausage

Run 2 pounds of chopped chupacabra through the meat grinder.

Saute 1 cup of chopped onions and 1 cup of minced celery. Add 2 cloves of chopped garlic.

Add sage, coriander, thyme, salt and pepper.

Stuff sausage casings and tie off ends.

Chupacabra sausage may be frozen or refrigerated. Do not cook right away. Wait at least 24 hours in order for the flavors to blend.

Smoked Chupacabra


With leftover chupababra roast:

Finely shred cooked chupacabra

Lay the shredded chupacabra on a cookie sheet - do not grease the cookie sheet

Place in 225 degree Farenheit over for an hour.

Turn oven off.

Leave chupacabra meat in oven for another hour or until dry enough to smoke.

Purchase (before hand) cigarette rolling papers at your local tobacco store or 'head' shop.

Sprinkle a small amount of dried meat in a thin line along the length of the rolling paper.

Roll up (not too tight, but not so loose that the whole thing falls apart), lick along the length and set aside to cure for about a week.

Light up and enjoy!

A perfect way to follow one of your fabulous chupacabra meals!

Don't believe in chupacabra - well listen to this eyewitness report!

Comments

SimeyC 2 years ago

Not into Chupacabra meat myself, although the recipes do look enticing - I would guess Chupacabra caught and cooked is better than shop bought - but that's me.

Anyways, could I substitute Sasquatch meat instead?

alekhouse 2 years ago

I don't eat meat except chicken, turkey, and fish, and even if I did, in all honesty, I'm skeptical that any such animal exists. I think I would have heard tell of it in the past 70 years. Make me a believer! Good hub though.

Dolores Monet 2 years ago

SimeyC - I'm sorry but I would not eat the meat of the Sasquatch, a bit to humanoid for me. Why don't you substitute a nice hunk of Kraken. Griffons are way too chewy. Thanks!

alekhouse - Chicken, turkey, and fish are meat. Maybe you don't eat mammals. Is chupacabra a mammal? I don't really know. You've never heard of chupacabra? Chupacabra is all over google and has overtaken Big Foot and Loch Ness Monster in popularity. It's the hottest cryptid ever! Thank you for commenting.

loveofnight 2 years ago

soon as i come across one i'll try it

Dolores Monet 2 years ago

Happy hunting, loveofnight. Those little rascals are hard to come by!

juneaukid 2 years ago

Sounds like a good slow-roasted jackalope garnished with dried rattler skin. Happy eating!

Dolores Monet 2 years ago

juneaukid - oh that jackalope. I actually wanted to add a picture of a guy and his jackalope but I thought that would confuse things. Thanks for stopping by!

Pacal Votan 2 years ago

Ok. First of all, how did you manage to put text in the right column? I've never seen that before.

You don't really care if it's the last piece of chupawhatever on Earth you are actually eating, do you? You just wanna eat it! It's really terrible that these blood-sucking, hatchery-plundering beasts on the brink of extinction don't deserve to be protected by law. :( It's really upsetting.

Your Chupacabra sketch is fab!!! :)

And what is that book you're talking about? When does it enter the marketplace? I'm soo excited!

You must be a masterful cook. A masterful cook.

Thanks for the recipes.

Olive P 2 years ago

Thanks Dolores. I'm having a dinner soiree next week. Think of the excitement round the table when I dish up Chupacabra meatballs. Then afterwards, there'll be snifters of brandy, and hand rolled Chupacabra smokes.

Mardi 2 years ago

Toooooo funny. Thinking here it Texas I could actually develop a Chupacabra hunting group, put on those cool decals on the back windows and on gun racks in pick-up trucks and all run around in camo gear all day. Since I personally don't like hunting I thing this is something I could definitely get behind and make a bundle at the same time. Can we use your sketch as our official logo?

I am definitely in for your cookbook if you get it together!

Dolores Monet 2 years ago

Dear Pacal, I wish I could tell you how I got the text on the right. For one thing, the capsules behave differently - amazon is different than the google ads. I just started popping the arrows on the amazon box and there it was! I am glad that you enjoyed the hub. Of course, one could be more judicious in the selection of foods, but decadence calls for throwing caution to the wind. As Ayn Rand says, 'altrusism is deadly; compassion is lethal.'

Oh, Olive, I am sure that your guests will be enthralled. Good luck locating the elusive meat. Good to see you here, dear.

Mardi, Mardi, Mardi - if you don't like hunting, why don't you capture a couple of chupacabra (a male and a female)and start a breeding farm! Of course, you are free to use the actual sketch. All I want are links. Which makes me think of chupacabra links, those tiny breakfast sausages, yummmmmm.

Pacal Votan 2 years ago

Oh wow, Ayn Rand. :) I get the picture.

I did live the hub, thanks.

frogyfish 2 years ago

Think I shall stick with the snipe, Deloros. I've heard of chupacabra on Coast to Coast enough to know it must taste worse than bat! :-) Fun hub here, you have a good humor and great drawing talent!

Dink96 2 years ago

LMAO! Two thumbs up!! LOVE the "recipes"!!!!!

Bail Up ! 2 years ago

I lived in Puerto Rico when the chupacabra was making news devouring the farm animals. Everyone that claimed to have seen one described it slightly different. Good Sketch! brings back scary memories.

paulgc 2 years ago

this is the first time i have ever heard of chupacabra. I would probably taste it but only if you cooked it for me as you seem to know what your talking about.

great hub.

Dolores Monet 2 years ago

frogyfish - oh no, you listen to George Noory (or however he spells his name)? Sad to mention, so do I. If I didn't, I would not know a thing about reptilian shape shifters and important things like that. Thanks for the comment!

Dink - one may even adapt some of the recipes for so called 'normal' foods. Except the smoked chupa. Thanks for stopping by!

Bailup - well if el chupacabra was gobbling up all the farm animals, don't you think it's time to get even? I appreciate the comment.

paulgc - Where have you been? Next you'll say that you've never heard of the Death Worm, or Mothman, or Big Foot, or reptilian shape shifters. Wake up, buddy! Thank you for visiting my hub and commenting.

Godslittlechild 2 years ago

I love this hub! Very interesting recipes!

Dolores Monet 2 years ago

Actually, most of them are good with normal food. Except the smoked meat one, of course.

Sally's Trove 2 years ago

What an hysterical read! I'm with frogyfish...sticking with snipe. At least they don't have the ferocious teeth you illustrated in your awesome drawing, and that means the risk of the hunt is probably minimized a bit.

Thumbs up!

Dolores Monet 2 years ago

Sally - so glad you appreciated the hub. I had so much fun writing it. I saw somewhere how someone drew some nonsence and referred to it as an 'actual drawing of' whatever it was and thought that was the funniest thing I ever saw.

philmaguire 2 years ago

I love the drawing. Is that the look they give you when you invite them to dinner?

Dolores Monet 2 years ago

plil - yes, it's the look they give when I tell them what I am serving. I spent some time giggling all by myself when I posted the title over the drawing.

philmaguire 2 years ago

Chupacabra is a bit rare over here. Can I use aliens instead seeing as the Chupacabra is alleged to be an alien creature?

Dolores Monet 2 years ago

phil - maybe you can eat those aliens before they eat you. Have you ever heard of the alien reptilian shape shifters here to harvest humans for their big banquet in the sky? The question is: do cows know that we eat them? Don't get me started!

philmaguire 2 years ago

Hey, those guys are nice and crunchy when you stir fry them - especially if you get them to shape-shift into the form of a big lobster first, yum

Dolores Monet 2 years ago

phil - so, you suggest turning the tables on the nasty reptilian shape shifters. That'll show 'em.

Ben Zoltak 8 months ago

Haha! I was about to read your "Tent meals" article when I saw this one, Dolores you are a riot! How can anyone resist the urge not to read "Chucacabra Recipes?" oh man, good stuff darlin'.

I believe your Chucacabra Pie will pare well with my Loch Ness Chowder.

Lots of love from Wisconsin,

Ben

Dolores Monet 8 months ago

Hi, Ben - well I am so glad that you enjoyed it. This one has not been too successful. I wrote it mainly to entertain myself. I laughed my head off when I put "Actual Drawing." This was back before I started to try to make money on here. HP used to feature more stupid nonsense and I feel like I need to make another silly one just to give folks a chuckle. And love to you in Wisconsin from the Old Line State!

jenniferrpovey 2 months ago

...just found this looking for a kind of hot sauce. This is totally awesome.

Submit a Comment
Members and Guests

Sign in or sign up and post using a hubpages account.



    Like this Hub?
    Please wait working